Mystery

How to Get Away With Murder. This is my new favorite show.

Not because of the acting, or the writing, though both are great. It’s another Shonda Rimes show, so you know the chances are high that the writing and the acting will be strong. But I like it because in the first episode, the lead character tells the group that they may think they know their best friend, their roommate, their neighbor, spouse or lover. But they don’t.

This is so true.

Can you see me high-fiving the TV?

Until you’ve been psychic – really, very psychic, you don’t know anyone.

I was having lunch with two friends about ten years ago. Tom said that most of the men he knew had cheated on their wives. The few he thought hadn’t cheated were either 1. Thinking about it, or 2. Better than most about lying about it.

Christina said that she knew – KNEW – her husband had never cheated.

I just nodded. I’d been cheated on several times. And I also had that funny feeling that Christina was fooling herself.

A couple of weeks passed and I thought maybe I had escaped the dirty details of whatever her husband had been up to. But, no. In an unguarded moment all those details came flooding forth. He hadn’t just cheated on her once, but several times. Many times. They’re divorced now. Though she still leans on him for financial support. He even co-signed on her home loan. Odd situation.

Then, last week I had dinner with my friend Jennie at the Pearl Oyster Bar in the West Village. She went on. And on. And on about a political candidate that she really thinks is flawless. She was not only reading from his press releases, but had ingested the entire pitcher of his toxic Kool-Aid. It was nauseating. Everything she said was a repeat of some opinion she’d heard on tv or the radio. She didn’t have one authentic thought.

He’s run on the platform of supporting women and minorities. “I’m sort of obligated to vote for him,” she said.

Really? But what about reality? What about who he really is and what his real agenda is? Aren’t you obligated to see that, too? For your sanity?

I don’t have the luxury of seeing only the sanitized image of politicians and celebrities that is put out for public consumption. Instead I’m the kid who stands in the crowd and says, “Hey! The King has no clothes on!”

A real buzz kill, I know.

So, while people are worshiping some image the press camp has put out for the world to swallow hook, line and sinker, I’m standing on the sidelines shaking my head. Sometimes I’m there by myself. Until someone else catches on. Which often takes a while.

No political candidate is flawless. Because our political system is built for those pursuing power. And if you’re not savvy enough to see that, then I have some land I’d like to sell you.

“Oh, but look at his family,” she said. “I think he’s such a sweetheart.”

Really? He took a choreographed walk while holding hands with his wife and you swallowed that media image? Wow.

I get that people need someone to believe in. But there are so many people, who are far more worthy and with far more integrity than a politician or a celebrity who deserve your admiration. Wake up, people.

Sometimes people are brilliant con artists. (I would put most politicians in that category.) I get that. The world is full of stories of men and women who conned someone into believing they are someone they aren’t.

Most women I know have been fooled by a man or three. Sara, a former co-worker of mine, has terrible taste in men. Terrible. She is SO easily fooled by men.

We could be standing in a room of 200 eligible men, and she’ll pick out the most fucked up one in the bunch and take him home. Then  she’ll email me endlessly about how he’s taken advantage of her in some way. I’m hoping she’ll stay single for a while.

She’ll find the one who is secretly married, has issues with possessiveness or is just destined to jack with her in some way. Only every time.

She has her share of Daddy issues. I’m sure a therapist would have a field day tracing her appetite for inappropriate men back to her desire to save her father from his emotional suffering. She’s always trying to rescue someone. But I also wonder if Sara has ever been interested in seeing people for who they really are.

Honestly, like so many women, she would rather see the romanticized image he puts forth. She wants the dream. Not the reality.

Aw, look at the pretty picture. He’s such a sweetheart. Yeah. Right. Call me when you’ve left the land of delusion.

This is how women end up losing everything from their happiness to their money to their lives to men. Because when they met Mr. Wonderful, they preferred the romantic, fuzzy around the edges, Disney-esque view they projected onto him, as opposed to the reality that lurked beneath. Because what fun would that be, right?

Oh, and Jennie who loves her political candidate so much? She’s been married and divorced three times now, I think. Once to a guy who turned out to be a drug addict, he took all their money and wasted it on his addiction. I could go on about her other two husbands, but you get the idea. I just don’t understand why, after all she’s been through, that she wouldn’t at least develop an appetite for wanting to see people more clearly. Maybe she likes the drama.

Women, people, are so easily fooled, not because the con artist is so talented, but most often because people just don’t want to see what’s really there. I get that.

I may not always like the discouraging information I psychically see about people, but honestly, at the end of the day I’d rather see than not see.